Joke for today?

[gone fishin]

A guy is driving around the back woods of Montana and he sees a sign in front of a broken down shanty-style house: 'Talking Dog For Sale ' He rings the bell and the owner appears and tells him the dog is in the backyard.

The guy goes into the backyard and sees a nice looking Labrador retriever sitting there.

'You talk?' he asks.

'Yep,' the Lab replies.

After the guy recovers from the shock of hearing a dog talk, he says 'So, what's your story?'

The Lab looks up and says, 'Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA.

In no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping.' 'I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running. But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger so I decided to settle down. I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security, wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals.' 'I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired.' The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog.

'Ten dollars,' the guy says.

'Ten dollars?

This dog is amazing! Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?'

'Because he's a liar. He never did any of that!

[JohnR]

Got from (an Italian) relative:

Italian Loan

An Italian walked into a bank in New York City and
asked for the loan officer He told the loan officer
that he was going to Italy on business for two weeks
and needed to borrow $5,000 and that he was not a
depositor of the bank.

The bank officer told him that the bank would need
some form of security for the loan, so the Italian
handed over the keys to a new Ferrari. The car was
parked on the street in front of the bank. The
Italian produced the title and everything checked
out. The loan officer agreed to hold the car as
collateral for the loan and apologized for having to
charge 12% interest.

Later, the bank's president and its officers all
enjoyed a good laugh at the Italian for using a
$250,000 Ferrari as collateral for a $5,000 loan.
An employee of the bank then drove the Ferrari into the
bank's underground garage and parked it.

Two weeks later, the Italian returned, repaid the $5,000
and the interest of $23.07. The loan officer
said, 'Sir, we are very happy to have had your
business, and this transaction has worked out very
nicely, but we are a little puzzled. While you were
away, we checked you out and found that you are a
multimillionaire. What puzzles us is, why would you
bother to borrow $5,000?'

The Italian replied: 'Minga, where else in New York City
can I park my car for two weeks for only $23.07 and
expect it to be there when I return?'

Ah, the Italians.... Bada Bing!