Joke for today?

[InTheHole]

90-year-old man went to his doctor for his quarterly check-up. The
doctor asked him how he was feeling and the 90-year-old said "Things are
great and I've never felt better. I now have a 20 year-old bride who is
pregnant with my child. What do you think about that?"

The doctor considered his question for a minute and then began. "I have
an older friend, much like you, who is an avid hunter and never misses a
season. One day when he was setting off hunting, he was in a bit of a
hurry and accidentally picked up his walking cane instead of his gun. As
he neared a lake he came across a very large male beaver sitting at the
water's edge. He realized he'd left his gun at home and so couldn't
shoot the magnificent creature but out of habit he raised his cane,
aimed it at the animal as if it were his favorite hunting rifle and went
bang, bang.

Miraculously, two shots rang out and the beaver fell over dead. Now,
what do yo u think of that?" asked the doctor.

The 90-year-old said, "If you ask me, I'd say somebody else pumped a
couple of rounds into that beaver."

The doctor replied, "My point exactly".

[spinncognito]

Touching Story of Love and Marriage

A very old man lay dying in his bed. In death's doorway, he suddenly smelled the aroma of his favorite chocolate chip cookie wafting up the stairs.

He gathered his remaining strength and lifted himself from the bed.

Leaning against the wall, he slowly made his way out of the bedroom, and with even greater effort
forced himself down the stairs, gripping the railing with both hands.

With labored breath, he leaned against the door frame, gazing into the kitchen. Were it not for death's agony, he would have thought himself already in heaven.

There, spread out upon newspapers on the kitchen table were literally hundreds of his favorite chocolate chip cookies.

Was it heaven?
Or was it one final act of heroic love from his devoted wife, seeing to it that he left this world a happy man?

Mustering one great final effort, he threw himself toward the table. The aged and withered hand, shaking, made its way to a cookie at
the edge of the table, when he was suddenly smacked with a spatula by his wife.

Stay out of those," she said, "they're for the funeral."

[eastendlu]

A woman goes into Wal-Mart to buy a rod and reel. She doesn't know which one to get, so she just grabs one and goes over to the register.

There is a Wal-Mart associate standing there with dark shades on.

She says, "Excuse me, Sir... can you tell me anything about this rod and reel?"

He says, "Ma'am, I'm blind, but if you will drop it on the counter I can tell you everything you need to know about it from the sound that it makes.

She didn't believe him but dropped it on the counter anyway.

He said, "That's a 6' graphite rod with a Zebco 202 reel and 10 lb. test line. It's a good all around rod and reel, and it cost $20.00."

She says, "It is amazing that you can tell all that just by the sound of it dropping on the counter. I think it's what I'm looking for, so I'll take it."

He walks behind the counter to the register, she bends down to get her purse and farts. At first she is embarrassed but then realizes that there
is no way he could tell it was her. Being blind, he wouldn't know that she was the only person around.

He rings up the sale and says, "That will be $25.50."

She says, "But didn't you say it was $20.00?"

He says, "Yes ma'am, the rod and reel is $20.00, the duck call is $3.00, and the catfish stink bait is $2.50. And thank you for shopping Wal-Mart."