Joke for today?

[eastendlu]

[BW from AZ]

The Pope and Hillary Rodham Clinton (HRC) are on the same stage, in front of a huge crowd.

'Her Majesty' and His Holiness, however, have seen it all before, so to make it a little more interesting, the senator says to the Pope, "Did you know that with just one little wave of my hand I can make every Democrat in this crowd go wild?"

He doubts it, so she shows him. Sure enough, the wave elicits rapture and cheering from every democrat in the crowd. Gradually, the cheering subsides.



The Pope, not wanting to be outdone by such a level of arrogance, Considers what he should do. "That was impressive. But did you know that with just one little wave of MY hand I can make EVERY person in the crowd go crazy with joy? This joy will not be a momentary display like that of your subjects, but will go deep into their hearts, and they will forever speak of this day and rejoice."

The senator seriously doubts this, and says so. "One little wave of your hand and all people will rejoice forever? Show me……."

So the Pope slapped her upside the head.

[justplugit]

On the outskirts of a small town, there was a big old walnut tree inside the cemetery fence.

One day two boys, filled up a bucket of nuts and sat by the tree, out of sight, and began dividing the nuts.

"One for you" one for me".One for you one for me" said one boy. Several dropped and rolled down toward the fence.

Another boy came riding by on his bike. As he passed, he thought he heard voices from inside the cemetery.

He slowed down to investigate.. Sure enough he heard, "One for you, One for me, One for you One for me."

He just knew what it was. He jumped on his bike and rode off.

Just around the corner he met an old man with a cane.
"Come here quick," said the boy, you won't believe what i heard!

"Satan and the Lord are down in the cemetery dividing up the souls."
The man said, "beat it kid can't you see i can hardly walk!"

When the boy insisted though, the man hobbled to the cemetery. Standing by the fence they heard,"one for you One for me. One for you one for me...."

The old man whispered, "Boy you've been telling the truth. Let's see if we can see the Lord."

Shaking with fear, they peered through the fence, yet were unable to see anything.
The old man and the boy gripped the wrought iron bars of the fence tighter and tighter as they tried to get a glimpse of the Lord.

At last they heard,"One for you One for me. That's all. Now let's go get those nuts by the fence and we'll be done."

They say the old man made it back to Town a full 5 minutes ahead of the kid on the bike.