Let the swearing begin--

[justplugit]

Last Grandkids concert tonight, shopping done, cards mailed, all the fun stuff, but now it's time to put up the !#$%^&^% TREE.

I predict tomorrow will be the coldest day of the month as i drag the tree thru the open doors and all the heat escapes.

My wife will leave the house for 3 hours.

I will try once again ,to put the stand on the tree in a horizontal position, which will not work.

I will then either have to cut more off the base or trim branches off the bottom to make it fit.

When it's cut there will be at least 4ft of space between the floor and first branch.

As i struggle to raise it , it will fall crooked against the wall.

As i lay under the tree to adjust it ,all the cold air will funnel down the trunk unto me.

As i shove the wedges in to help straigthen it they will all crack.

I will promise to buy myself a "better stand" next year.

As i finally finish and tie it to 3 walls to hold it up, my will come home and say "it looks crooked".

Let the swearing begin.

[tattoobob]

Oh and it doesn't happen in every house, those are my wife exact words
I told her you try to hold it straight and tighten the screws while laying on the floor. she says oh ok looks good

[fishpoopoo]

that's not even the best part.

the best part is cleaning up all those !@#$ing pine needles that fall off and get all over the place after the tree dries up.

[spence]

Yet another reason why Judaism is the superior religion

-spence

[Slipknot]

You'll get through it just fine Santa Gurmp
Have some eggnog and put on some Jerry

[justplugit]

Originally Posted by Slipknot

and put on some Jerry

Thank You Jerry, oops, i mean Bruce.

[chris L]

%(*$$%*)^_&_)+%%&*$#^*%#&*%*(_&*(_)^*($%^$^(^*_&)^ ($#$&^*&&^_(*()(_+)+_)()&*(^*$%^^@#%@$#!^%#%^$^@%# !@%#!@@$!~

[Karl F]

I put the tree in the stand outside.. have her come out, and make sure it is straight out there.. clamp it up real good.. move the stuff outta the way, open the sliders, and stuff it in the corner... spin it around so the fullest side is showing.. smile at wife.. then leave...

been about 16 years since I quit drinkin'.. but.. I do kinda miss the old tradition .. me and the tree would get lit about the same time, and we'd both stay lit, for about 3 weeks... ahhh the "good" old days... ...

nog and jerry.. that'll get ya merry...

[justplugit]

Originally Posted by Karl F

.. me and the tree would get lit about the same time, and we'd both stay lit, for about 3 weeks... ahhh the "good" old days... ...

Ya, cept the feelin your head was comin off your shoulders

and you were steppin on your own stomach. --

[EricW]

I've had a few aggravating "issues" and episodes with Christmas trees in the past. Bought and really good quality artificial that my wife actually really likes. Never looked back.

Eric

[Swimmer]

Bought a fake tree from Target on sale a few years ago. It only goes up one way, straight. And it has the realism of a few obligatory green fake needles on the floor. Light the freikin balsam candle from yankee candle and it HO HO HO!

[ThrowingTimber]

jp on the tree stand. We have a stand thats just a spike. You take your tree and drill at 5inch deep hole in it and place it on the spike. Things frikkin' level every time on the nose...... No fuss

[Backbeach Jake]

I took the Mrs. tree shoping once. Nearly ended in divorce. Visited every tree lot in 4 towns. I like my way better: Nice tree, gimme.

[blue oyster]

i have a great wife , she buys the tree , we put it up together , this year its crooked , she said we will put more ornaments on the other side , works for me life is short why fight over stupid stuff