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| Grumpy Old Pharts Board Gerritol, Ex-Lax, Immodium, Bad Breath - all requirements for the Grumpy Board |
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09-04-2006, 08:24 PM
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#1
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Registered User
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: block island
Posts: 114
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While we are on the topic of farts, my uncle had a good one.
He would bomb us out, practically making us puke from the stink of it all, and when we asked him how can you do that he would reply, "Hey man, everybody likes thier own brand!" --side note use that one at your own risk.  |
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09-07-2006, 08:00 AM
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#2
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Registered Grandpa
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: east coast
Posts: 8,592
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When it came to someone exagerating or tellin lies-
He talks through his hat.
He says more than his prayers.
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" Choose Life "
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09-07-2006, 11:00 AM
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#3
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Registered Grandpa
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: east coast
Posts: 8,592
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Oh and another in the same vain--
He talks to hear himself talk.
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" Choose Life "
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09-07-2006, 11:21 AM
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#4
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........
Join Date: Apr 2002
Posts: 22,805
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by justplugit
He talks to hear himself talk.
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Scientists studying why dogs bark for no apparent reason
discovered that they do it just to hear themselves .
and............
one of the reasons people were found to want to smoke cigarettes
is to know they were still alive because they could see the smoke that they just exhaled. |
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09-07-2006, 12:51 PM
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#5
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........
Join Date: Apr 2002
Posts: 22,805
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great one Karl
Quote:
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Originally Posted by Karl F
Or, as Dad would say,
"He plays to an audience, of one." |
a little off topic... but your comment reminded me of this .......
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Paul Horn the Flute Player ...who has made recordings in the cheops pyramid in egypt and in the taj mahal too... a long time ago...tho
Anyways, Paul goes walking into the Taj Mahal and gets stopped by the cleric (priest) in there and he says "you can't come in here!"
"this is where we pray to GOD !"
Paul just walked right past him saying....
"i came here: to play to GOD"....and kept on walking. 
followed by his recording technician.... |
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09-07-2006, 12:57 PM
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#6
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........
Join Date: Apr 2002
Posts: 22,805
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speaking about the name Karl
we have an Uncle Karl in our family who lives in michigan
on 1000 acres that he farms....
every night just about...my day would tell us about Uncle Karl
and how much food he ate.....
first he starts with a big plate of potatoes...
and my dad would gesture the size of the mound of taters
then he has a huge plate of green beans....gesturing again
then he has a big bowl of squash this big encircling his arms...
going on and on about how uncle Karl was the strongest man in the world and all... 
just to get his 6 sons to eat their little amount of veggies |
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09-07-2006, 09:19 PM
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#7
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Registered Grandpa
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: east coast
Posts: 8,592
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Raven
we have an Uncle Karl in our family who lives in michigan
on 1000 acres that he farms....
every night just about...my day would tell us about Uncle Karl
and how much food he ate.....
first he starts with a big plate of potatoes...
and my dad would gesture the size of the mound of taters
then he has a huge plate of green beans....gesturing again
then he has a big bowl of squash this big encircling his arms...
going on and on about how uncle Karl was the strongest man in the world and all...
just to get his 6 sons to eat their little amount of veggies |
Smart Dad ya had there Rav. |
" Choose Life "
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09-07-2006, 09:56 PM
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#8
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........
Join Date: Apr 2002
Posts: 22,805
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maybe so
quote karl: I can't friggin stand heights, or climbing!!! 
what about your fondness for booze....
maybe from a different perspective
but there none the less....
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09-07-2006, 10:03 PM
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#9
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........
Join Date: Apr 2002
Posts: 22,805
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yeah he was extremely smart
Quote:
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Originally Posted by justplugit
Smart Dad ya had there Rav.
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he was Senoir Vice PRESIDENT OF STATE STREET BANK....
HE SOLD OR TRADED MILLIONS OF DOLLARS OF BONDS EACH DAY
OOPS CAPS SORRY
but he was also the greatest fibber of all time....
because Uncle Karl came to visit us one summer
and he was a skinny as a bean pole
hahahahahaha  it was a riot.... the guys real tall
and wasn't as much of a giant as he said he was
thats for sure....
But old uncle karl got a big kick out of it...
just the same... |
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09-09-2006, 01:04 PM
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#10
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Registered User
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Here and There Seasonally
Posts: 5,985
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Karl F
Or, as Dad would say,
"He plays to an audience, of one." |
My Dad's was "He talks just to hear his head rattle" |
He that would make his own liberty secure, must guard even his enemy from oppression; for if he violates this duty, he establishes a precedent that will reach to himself.
Thomas Paine
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09-09-2006, 01:08 PM
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#11
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Registered User
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Here and There Seasonally
Posts: 5,985
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When you're working on something with some one watching and you screw it up. " Why did you just stand there and let me do that?" My brother Pat thought that I was serious for 30 years!! "remember when you chewed me out for letting you screw up your Harley?" I was 19 he was 9.
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He that would make his own liberty secure, must guard even his enemy from oppression; for if he violates this duty, he establishes a precedent that will reach to himself.
Thomas Paine
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09-09-2006, 07:17 PM
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#12
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Registered Grandpa
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: east coast
Posts: 8,592
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The car would hit a bump in the road, and everybody would yell-
Thank you mam.
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" Choose Life "
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09-09-2006, 07:22 PM
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#13
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Registered User
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Here and There Seasonally
Posts: 5,985
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"Gag a maggot on a gut wagon"
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He that would make his own liberty secure, must guard even his enemy from oppression; for if he violates this duty, he establishes a precedent that will reach to himself.
Thomas Paine
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09-07-2006, 03:23 PM
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#14
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Registered User
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Cotuit MA
Posts: 295
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by toddonbi
While we are on the topic of farts:
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"Dear god, what keeps you on the ground?"
or:
"Somethng crawled up inside you and died!"
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"Many go fishing all their lives without knowing that it is not fish they are after." - Henry David Thoreau
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09-07-2006, 04:17 PM
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#15
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Registered User
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Upper Bucks County PA
Posts: 234
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When I was a know-it-all teenager my Dad used to tell me, "you don't know yet what you don't know yet and you think that makes you smart."
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You can’t truly call yourself “peaceful” unless you are capable of great violence.
If you are incapable of violence, you are not peaceful, you are just harmless.
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09-07-2006, 08:05 PM
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#16
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Registered Grandpa
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: east coast
Posts: 8,592
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[QUOTE=Karl F]cool Uncle Karl story..
"Oh $hit!"...
[QUOTE]
Infamous words, handed down from generation to generation. |
" Choose Life "
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09-07-2006, 09:13 PM
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#17
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Moderator
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Marshfield, MA
Posts: 6,267
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good stories Raven & Karl
here is another...."you don't know your arse from your elbow"
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