Joke for today?

[Goose]

A man goes to the doctor because his 'unit' is orange.

The doctor checks him out and says " Mr. Jones I can't find anything wrong with you. Your blood work looks good as does everything else.' The doctor thinks for a minute and then asks "Tell me what you do. You know, your daily routine."

Mr. Jones say's " Well I don't do much. Mainly I just sit around and watch porno while eating my Cheeto's."

[justplugit]

A good friend wil come and bail you out of jail---- a true friend will be sitting next to you sayin, "was that fun or what".

[Jimbo]

A lady walked into a Lexus dealership to browse, and spotted the most beautiful, perfect "loaded" Lexus - and walked over to inspect it closer. As she bent forward to feel the fine leath! er upholstery, an
unexpected little burst of flatulence escaped her. Very embarrassed, she anxiously looked around to see if anyone had
noticed.
There standing behind her was a salesman. with a pleasant smile he
greeted her, "Good day, Madame. How may we help you today?"
Trying to maintain an air of sophistication and acting as though
nothing had happened, she smiled back and asked, "Sir, what is the price of this lovely vehicle?"
Still smiling pleasantly, he replied, "Madame, I'm very sorry to say
that if you farted just touching it, you're gonna sh*t when you hear the price.