REVERSING THE CHRISTMAS GRUMPAGE

[Jimbo]

Like someone said in the other thread, don't let the other dolts out there get to you. That's half the battle. I'm not much on malls and crowds, but it does mean alot to others I buy for that I spent the time ahead thinking about gifts they'll appreciate rather than the token gloves or slippers, or worse still, something you grabbed off the first rack you came to just to get the chore done. Next, I come up with a plan for where the things I want to buy might be and I plan the most efficient route. Shopping around for the best baaaaaagain is generally a waste of my time and would cause much grumpage, so the first place I find the exact thing I'm looking for, providing of course a moderately courteous sales staff, I buy it. Next, dress for the holiday shopping experience. It is extremely important that I dress as close to a festering old bum as is humanly possible. This is especially effective in keeping sales people (also impolite teenagers, loud talkers, the mall massage chair guy, and solicitors) at a safe distance and therefore not bothering me while I concentrate on my mission. This particular modus operundi also gives me valuable extra time alone with the soft frilly undergarments in Victoria's Secret and allows me the mall fantasy that hot middle aged mom's whose husbands area at work and kids are in day care are getting turned on by my rugged, gruff look and the fact that my pants are ripped in precarious areas, are taking second looks at my supple posterior if not following for a closer look. So it's a whole game for me to ward off the grumpies out in the real world. Other than that, it's totally about family for me. I say you can reverse the holiday grumps.