Joke for today?

[Van]

A funeral service is being held for a woman who has
just passed away. At the end of the service, the
pall bearers are carrying the casket out when they
accidentally bump into a wall, jarring the casket
They hear a faint moan. They open the casket and find
that the woman is actually alive! She lives for ten more
years, and then dies.
Once again, a ceremony is held, and at the end of
it, the pall bearers are again carrying out the casket.
As they carry the casket towards the door, the husband
cries out:

"Watch that wall!"

[Squibby17]

Two guys are sitting in a bar in Dublin pounding shots of whiskey. After a while they begin to talk and shoot the %$%$%$%$ like old friends.

Guy1 "I grew up just down the road in Dublin on Carnegy way"

Guy2 "oh ya did lad thats funny I grew up on that same street"

Guy1 "oh really I went to West minster class of 1943"

Guy2 "ohh wouldn't You know I went to Westminster class of 1943"

So this goes on and on and they continue to knock back the shots.
Finally the phone rings and the bar tender picks up

Bar tender: "Hello?"

Voice: "ah how ya doing patrick, anything going on down at the pub tonight?"

Bar tender "ah not too much, The Flanagan twins are in again.. there all banged up"