Basta$%^^

[reelecstasy]

like my bumper sticker says "People Suck"

[Bass Babe]

Some call me annoying, but I always lock and alarm the car, even though it beeps kinda loudly. I don't have much, but nobody's gonna take it. If she gets a new stereo, your daughter may want to grab one with a removable faceplate that she can take in her purse whenever she gets out of the car. Also, cram her CD cases under her seats or in the trunk. Cover expensive stuff with sweatshirts, etc. The poor girl. I hope you find out who did that, so that you can run a cheese grater over their nipples.

[Topwater]

The friggen dog starts going nuts around 2:30 this morning. threw on alle the outside lights, put her on the leash and walked around the house a few times. Wife's car unlocked and the windows down????!!!!!!!! .
Came back in the house, turned on the scanner and the Holbrook PD were looking for some people in the area.
Puting in the motion sensor lights in the front very soon.
Can't beat a dog's senses!!!!

[Uncle Matt]

When I was in college I lived at home and commuted. One morning I went out to the driveway to see my car had been jacked up on blocks and all four tires and rims were stolen. It's like WTF? We didn't hear a thing.

[Swimmer]

After they jacked up the car and set it on the blocks they let the air out of the tires to make taking them that much easier.

[CJ Johnson]

When I was younger I use to build muscle cars. Punks would always break in and try to steal the cars or any thing they could get off quickly. After one of my cars were stolen I installed a fuel shut in the trunk. One night I hear the loud exhaust sound of my car starting and being driven off. I jump in to another car and follow the guy to the end of the street where the car dies from the lack of fuel. I pull up to the guy and say car trouble? and the guy answers ya it just died. I said I will call you a tow truck and he says don't bother he will call his friend . I said no bother my brother owns a tow truck. So I go back to my car and call the cops to report the car stolen. Well we sit around chatting about the car a while and this guy starts talking about the car like he's owned it for years. Then the cop car cruises up to us and says "Who reported the stolen car?" And I said I Did. That guy did not know what to do next he just stood there like a deer in the headlights. Bad guy busted.

[chris L]

cj now thats funny ! another stupid criminal caught for being a stupid ass . serves him right .

[CJ Johnson]

You like that one Here's another. On my first date with my now husband.I left and ever lasting impression. Being it my first date with my husband I was dressed up like a proper lady and looking every bite the feminen role. After a very boring date he was dropping me off . We were approaching my house when i saw someone screwing with driver side window. I said don' t stop the car keep driving. As I was looking around for something to use as a weapon he says what wrong? I find a steer wheel lock( the club security lock) and then told him to turn the car around. At this point he is total confused but does what I tell him. As we approach the drive way I jump out of the moving car kick off my heels and chase this kid who was breaking in to my car down the road swing the club . I then throw the club at the kids legs and trip him. Now this kid gets himself backed up against a park car with no where to run. I pick up the club and stand over him screaming " Stay the h*ll away from my cars or I am going to kick the living sh*t out of you". Mean while my date had followed us down the street and witness every thing and was shock and impressed. After screaming at the kid for about 5 min the kid say I am sorry I was just trying to see what time it was by the clock in the car dash. I told him to buy watch next time.

When ever my husband gets out of line I always remind him of our first date.