Relationship Strain/Failure

[goosefish]

My second wife likes when I fish but doesn't understand when I show up without dinner. To her the act of fishing is very closely linked to food. Pure sport fishing she can't quite wrap her head around. Her parents are from the Azores. I think eating fish is simply encoded in the DNA of island people.

So now I spearfish--it's fun and a very good way to harvest protein from the ocean.

Hello everyone. It's been a few years since I've posted.

John

[piemma]

Great article in this months OTW on swordfish. That was you, right John?

[goosefish]

Thanks Paul. Yes it was. I'm glad you liked it.

[Jim in CT]

Originally Posted by goosefish

Thanks Paul. Yes it was. I'm glad you liked it.

That was an awesome article.

As to the OP, it's about a combination of tolerance, balance, and moderation. When I was single, with little responsibility, I fished a lot between May and November. Met my now-wife, I fished a bit less as I wanted the relationship to succeed, and that involved some sacrifice on my part, as well as some sacrifice on her part (I still fished a lot, but sometimes I skipped fishing for romantic dinners, etc).

Then we had 3 little kids over a short span. I'm not sure how any man with little kids spends a huge amount of time (when not working or sleeping) away from his kids for what, while menaingful, is just a recreational pursuit. Kids, especially little kids, need an awful lot of dad's time, and that's infinitely more important than any hobby.

Today, I fish about one fifth as much as I regularly did, probably 10% of what I did in my peak years. I do miss fishing as much as I did, but I wouldn't trade my marriage or my kids' happiness for all the world records known to the IGFA. I also know that I'll fish more at future stages of my life.

Good luck to any struggling with this balance...

[Gobi]

Originally Posted by Jim in CT

That was an awesome article.

As to the OP, it's about a combination of tolerance, balance, and moderation. When I was single, with little responsibility, I fished a lot between May and November. Met my now-wife, I fished a bit less as I wanted the relationship to succeed, and that involved some sacrifice on my part, as well as some sacrifice on her part (I still fished a lot, but sometimes I skipped fishing for romantic dinners, etc).

Then we had 3 little kids over a short span. I'm not sure how any man with little kids spends a huge amount of time (when not working or sleeping) away from his kids for what, while menaingful, is just a recreational pursuit. Kids, especially little kids, need an awful lot of dad's time, and that's infinitely more important than any hobby.

Today, I fish about one fifth as much as I regularly did, probably 10% of what I did in my peak years. I do miss fishing as much as I did, but I wouldn't trade my marriage or my kids' happiness for all the world records known to the IGFA. I also know that I'll fish more at future stages of my life.

Good luck to any struggling with this balance...

I'm right there with you, Jim. I have 3 - 8 y/o, 5 y/o and 2 y/o. They are the BEST. While I would love to fish more, it's not worth missing my kids grow up and getting divorced.

Grandpa Greg - you have to make the decision as to whether fishing or family is more important to you. Nobody else can do that for you. If fishing is more important than anything else, well, you'll have to find a lady that loves fishing or it will be ground hog day for you. Good luck.