The Longest Thread in History - Page 141 - Striper Talk Striped Bass Fishing, Surfcasting, Boating

Fishpart · 03-01-2002, 12:42 PM

One more for the team.

Why pay $25 for the hour the school is already paying him for that time, or is he stealing time from his employer???

bloocrab · 03-01-2002, 12:54 PM

He also does repairs to outside customers thru the school...and troubleshoots for outside companies...

....so to him, I was asking an "outside" question...because he wasn't teaching that class....

....I told him, "doesn't any question I ask pertain to computers in some way or another??..."...."after all, I am a student...trying to learn about computers...DUH!!!"...

....after a few words got exchanged, I had to start counting backwards to control my ......ummm...TEMPER!!...

...We've (me and other students) already complained to the owners and the state...(the state is funding the program)...but nothing happened. He seems to think that because we lost our jobs, one way or the other.....that we're less competant than others who pay out of pocket...

the entire school, is basically dislocated workers...(layed off/company closures, etc...)...there isn't one student there, who paid out of pocket....

that should have sent bells off in my head, when I was searching for a school to go to....

...plain and simple....HE'S AN #@$@!!!!

bloocrab · 03-01-2002, 12:55 PM

something that made me chuckle.....

I needed this....

A woman went to a pet shop and immediately spotted
a large beautiful parrot. There was a sign on the cage
that said $50.00. "Why so little,"
she asked the pet store owner.

The owner looked at her and said, "Look, I should
tell you first that this bird used to live in a house of
prostitution, and sometimes it
says some pretty vulgar stuff."

The woman thought about this, but decided she had
to have the bird anyway. She took it home and hung the
bird's cage up in her living room
and waited for it to say something.

The bird looked around the room, then at her, and
said, "New house, new madam."
The woman was a bit shocked at the implication, but
then thought "that's not so bad."

When her two tennage daughters returned from school
the bird saw them and said,
"New house, new madam, new girls."

The girls and the woman were a bit offended but
then began to laugh about the situation.
Moments later, the woman's husband,
Keith, came home from work.
The bird looked at him and said, "Hi Keith."

Fishpart · 03-01-2002, 01:04 PM

Confession . . . .

A woman takes a lover during the day, while her husband is at work.
Her 9 year old son comes home unexpectedly, so she puts him in the closet and
shuts the door. Her husband also comes home, so she puts her lover in the
closet, with the little boy.
The little boy says, "Dark in here."
The man says, "Yes, it is."
Boy - "I have a baseball."
Man - "That's nice."
Boy - "Want to buy it."
Man - "No, thanks."
Boy - "My dad's outside."
Man - "OK, how much?"
Boy - "$175.00"
In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy and the lover are in the
closet together.
Boy - "Dark in here."
Man - "Yes, it is."
Boy - "I have a baseball mitt."
The lover remembering the last time asks the boy, "How much?"
Boy - "$375.00"
Man - "Fine."
A few days later, the father says to the boy, "Grab your glove. Let's go
outside and toss the baseball back and forth."
The boy says, "I can't, I sold them."
The father asks, "How much did you sell them for?"
Boy - "$550.00"
The father says, "That's terrible to overcharge your friends like that,
that's way more than those two things cost. I'm going to take you to church
and make you confess."
They go to church and the father makes the little boy sit in the
confession booth and he closes the door.
The boy says, "Dark in here."
The priest says, "Don't start that #^&#^&#^&#^& again."

Fishpart · 03-01-2002, 01:05 PM

Subject: New Math

ROMANCE MATHEMATICS
Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy

SHOPPING MATH
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need.

GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

HAPPINESS
To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a
lit! tle.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to
understand her at all.

LONGEVITY
Married men live longer than single men, but married men are a lot more
willing to die.

MEMORY
Any married man should forget his mistakes, there's no use in two people
remembering the same thing.

APPEARANCE
Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

PROPENSITY TO CHANGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.

DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

COMPREHENSION
There are two times when a man doesn't understand a woman, before
marriage and after marriage.

HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING
MARRIED:
Old aunts! used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and
cackling, telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing
the same thing to them at funerals .

Fishpart · 03-01-2002, 01:06 PM

Oh well back to work....

JohnR · 03-01-2002, 01:47 PM

good stuff guys!!!

Generational Math:

Teaching Math in 1950: A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5 of the price. What is his profit?

Teaching Math in 1960: A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5 of the price, or $80. What is his profit?

Teaching Math in 1970: A logger exchanges a set "L" of lumber for a set "M" of money. The cardinality of set "M" is 100. Each element is worth one dollar. Make 100 dots representing the elements of the set "M." The set "C", the cost of production contains 20 fewer points than set "M." Represent the set "C" as a subset of set "M" and answer the following question: What is the cardinality of the set "P" of profits?

Teaching Math in 1980: A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is $80 and his profit is $20. Your assignment: Underline the number 20.

Teaching Math in 1990: By cutting down beautiful forest trees, the logger makes $20. What do you think of this way of making a living? Topic for class participation after answering the question: How did the forest birds and squirrels feel as the logger cut down the trees? There are no wrong answers.

Teaching Math in 2000: A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is $120. How does Arthur Andersen determine that his profit margin is $60?

I went to school in the 80s - what does that tell you??

Tattoo · 03-01-2002, 02:05 PM

Now John, THAT WAS FUNNY!!!!!!!!

STEVE IN MASS · 03-01-2002, 02:06 PM

Good one, John....I was a alte 60's....early 70's kid.

And evidently, they didn't teach typing, then......but BassMaster's not that old....

Striper1 · 03-01-2002, 07:24 PM

Bloo looking at the weather I'm glad the boat was booked up this weekend.
looks like it may be

out there this weekend

bloocrab · 03-01-2002, 07:26 PM

I was thinkin the same thing....Striper1......

....

..somebody's watcin over us......

....for the record, I am a God fearing man!....he must have a plan for us next weekend..

...I can't wait!!!......

Striper1 · 03-01-2002, 07:27 PM

Sunrise Fore river Quincy

Striper1 · 03-01-2002, 07:34 PM

here is a spot I would like to fish

Striper1 · 03-01-2002, 07:36 PM

Striper1 · 03-01-2002, 07:39 PM

bloo you on the last page ?

bassmaster · 03-01-2002, 08:58 PM

Striper one. That place stinks for fishing, Its a tourist trap. I go to the jettys to the right of that on an incoming, The fish are small only up to mid 30s But its a quick fix after work and I live up the street......