Joke for today?

[The Dad Fisherman]

A fellow bought a new Mercedes and was out on an interstate road for a nice evening drive. The top was down, the breeze was blowing through his hair and he decided to open her up. As the needle jumped up to 80mph he suddenly saw a flashing red and blue light behind him. "They'll never catch me, " he thought to himself and opened her up further.

The needle hit 90, 100 110 and finally 120 with the lights still behind him. "What in hell am I doing?" he thought and pulled over.

The cop came up to him, took his license without a word and examined it and the car. "I've had a tough shift and this is my last pull over. I don't feel like more paperwork so if you can give me an excuse for your driving, that I haven't heard before, you can go!" he said.

"Last week my wife ran off with a cop, " the man said, "and I was afraid you were trying to give her back!"

"Have a nice night, " said the officer.

[redcrbbr]

A man and a woman were driving down the road arguing violently. Suddenly the woman reaches over and slices off the man's pecker, and tosses it out the window of the car.

Driving behind the car is a fella with his 10 year old daughter chatting away beside him. All of a sudden, the pecker smacks the windscreen, sticks for a moment, then flies off. Surprised, the daughter asks her daddy, "Daddy what was that?"

Not wanting embarrassing questions,the father replies, "It was only a bug." The daughter gets a confused look on her face, and after a minute she says, "Sure had a big #^&#^&#^&#^&, didn't it !