Joke for today?

[stripersnipr]

Dear Abby,


My husband is a liar and a cheat. He has cheated on me from the beginning, and, when I confront him, he denies everything. What's worse, everyone knows that he cheats on me. It is so humiliating. Also, since he lost his job seven years ago, he hasn't even looked for a
new one. All he does all day is smoke cigars, cruise around and bull%$%$%$%$ with his buddies, while I have to work to pay the bills. Since our daughter went away to college he doesn't even pretend to like me and hints that
I may be a lesbian. What should I do?

Signed,

Clueless

*****************************************

Dear Clueless:

Grow up and dump him. Good grief, woman. You don't need him anymore. You're a United States Senator from New York. Act like one.

[Backbeach Jake]

Sam Donaldson, I believe told this one to the then POTUS Ronals Regan before a press conference:

Mr. President, according to a recent study, 60% of all males sing in the shower and 40% masterbate..

Very interesting, Sam. Was the suspicious reply.

Sir, do you know what song that study says those men are singing?

No Sam , I don't.

I didn't think so , sir.