The Longest Thread in History - Page 158 - Striper Talk Striped Bass Fishing, Surfcasting, Boating

OX · 08-28-2002, 06:26 PM

Oh.....the bandwith!

redcrbbr · 08-30-2002, 03:28 AM

good to see your still out there kicking OX, doing any fishing???? and as for you brother crab.. welcome back. lets do some fishing and get you back in shape.

Fishpart · 08-30-2002, 05:43 AM

This thing just won't die. OX, good to see you back.

MZPIGGY · 09-01-2002, 06:55 PM

A city boy decided to quit the rat race and bought himself a farm, which included a few sows. He wanted to breed the sows, but had no idea how to go about it. His neighbor volunteered his boars for the job, and told the city boy to bring them over in the pickup the next day. In the afternoon when he went to pick them up, the city boy asked how he would be able to tell if the sows were impregnated. He was told to look and see where they were early in the morning. If they were up on the hill, they were pregnant; if they were in the sty, it hadn't worked. The next morning, he leapt from the bed and looked up the hill, but alas the pigs were down in the mud. Grumbling, he loaded them back into the pickup and headed for the neighbors. The following three mornings were just the same; he would leap from the bed, look up the hill, find the pigs down in the mud and have to return them to the neighbors to let the boars have another shot at them. On the fifth morning, he looked up the hill, and there were no pigs. He looked down in the sty; still no pigs. He called to his wife, "Where the hell are the pigs today?" Amid hysterical laughter, she managed to choke out, "They're down in the truck, and the big one is honking the horn!"

MZPIGGY · 09-01-2002, 07:14 PM

...what about a PIG KISS...for making you smile???

MZPIGGY · 09-01-2002, 07:21 PM

A couple drove several miles down a country road, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument, and neither wanted to concede their position.

As they passed a barnyard of mules and pigs, the wife sarcastically asked, "Relatives of yours?"

"Yep," the husband replied, "In-laws."

MZPIGGY · 09-01-2002, 07:27 PM

Last week, a few miles from here, a Little League team was playing a game one evening. The ball field is adjacent to a large ranch where cattle, swine and poultry are raised. It seems that the game was very close and was coming to an end.

It was the bottom of the ninth inning. The team at bat was one run behind with a runner at second base. The batter was nervous, having a count of three balls and two strikes. The next pitch might decide the game! Just as the pitch was thrown, a large hog broke through the center field fence and ran onto the field.

At this exact moment, the batter managed a direct hit on the incoming pitch and launched the ball into the outfield. The ball headed straight for the boar and finally hit him on the flanks. As the opposing team stared at him, the pig stopped in his tracks, then grabbed the ball in his mouth, swallowed it, and ran back through the fence and disappeared.

The umpire, proving that he was up to the occasion, ruled that the batting team had won, since the hit was ... an inside-the-pork home run.

....ok..ok

MZPIGGY · 09-01-2002, 07:35 PM

...you're sure to get a chuckle out of this one......

Bill Clinton and his driver were cruising along a country road one night, when all of a sudden they hit a pig, killing it instantly. Bill told his driver to go up to the farm house and explain to the owners what had happened.

About one hour later, Bill sees his driver staggering back to the car with a bottle of wine in one hand, a cigar in the other and his clothes all ripped and torn. "What happened to you?" asked Bill.

"Well, the farmer gave me the wine, his wife gave me the cigar and his 19-year-old daughter made mad, passionate love to me." said the driver.

"My God, what did you tell them?" asked Clinton.

The driver replied, "I'm Bill Clinton's driver and I just killed the pig."

Goose · 09-01-2002, 08:40 PM

Pigs are only good for one thing...... on the end of jigs!

bloocrab · 09-04-2002, 09:54 PM

An old country farmer with serious financial problems
bought a mule from another old farmer for $100, who
agreed to deliver the mule the next day.
However, the next day he drove up and said,

"Sorry, but I have some bad news: The mule died."

"Well, then, just give me my money back."

"Can't do that. I went and spent it already."

"OK, then. Just unload the mule."

"What ya gonna do with a dead mule?"

"I'm going to raffle him off."

"You can't raffle off a dead mule!"

"Sure I can. I just won't tell anybody he's dead."

A month later the two met up and the farmer who
sold the mule asked,

"Whatever happened with that dead mule?"

"I raffled him off just like I said I would. I sold 500
tickets at $2 a piece and made a profit of $898."

"Didn't anyone complain?"

"Just the guy who won. So I gave him his two dollars back."

MountainBreeze · 10-23-2002, 12:08 PM

What a great story AnthonyN wrote on page 2 of this thread.
"WHAT REALLY COUNTS."

Take a well done!

Regards,
Rob

StarsnStripers · 10-23-2002, 12:20 PM

How many posts on here now? 7,000??

StarsnStripers · 10-23-2002, 12:25 PM

yea JignPigz were kool for freshwata, bet theyr'e good for stripers 2!

StarsnStripers · 10-23-2002, 12:28 PM

heres one for all you huntin fans out there (not me)

A couple of New Jersey hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head.

The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: "My friend is dead! What can I do?"

The operator, in a calm soothing voice says: "Just take it easy. I can help.
First, let's make sure he's dead."

There is a silence, then a shot is heard. The guy's voice comes back on the line. He says: "OK, now what?"

StarsnStripers · 10-23-2002, 12:32 PM

and another, for all you mystery fans:

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson go on a camping trip. After a good dinner and a bottle of wine, they retire for the night, and go to sleep. Some hours later , Holmes wakes up and nudges his faithful friend. "Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see." '"I see millions and millions of stars, Holmes," replies Watson.

"And what do you deduce from that?"

Watson ponders for a minute.

"Well, astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo.
Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three.
Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow.
Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful, and that we are a small and
insignificant part of the universe. What does it tell you, Holmes?"

Holmes is silent for a moment. "Watson, you idiot!" he says. "Someone has stolen our tent!"

hooked · 10-23-2002, 03:17 PM

Once upon a time, Hercules, Snow White, and Quasimodo were talking over a picnic lunch.

Hercules says, "You know, everyone says I am the strongest mortal on the earth, but I don't know how to prove it. That bothers me a lot."

Snow White said "You're right! Everyone says I am the fairest, but how can I be sure?"

Quasimodo agrees. "Yeah, and I'm supposed to be the ugliest!"

Suddenly Snow White has an idea. "You know, guys, I've got the answer. Let's pray about this and ask God to tell us the truth."

Hercules says "Great, Let's meet tomorrow and tell our tales."
Quasimodo gets up to leave and says "See you tomorrow. Boy, I'm going to find out for certain that I'm the ugliest."

The next day, they meet at a restaurant in town. Hercules says, "I talked to God, and He says that I am truly the strongest."

Snow White says, "So did I, and I am truly the fairest."

Quasimodo has his head down, leaning on the table and says, "Who the hell is _______________?"

(fill in the __________ with your buddy that deserves to get some grief.)

JohnR · 11-04-2002, 08:38 PM

errr, bump

Fishpart · 11-05-2002, 06:50 AM

It's ALIVE.............

Miles Offshore · 11-05-2002, 11:02 AM

Holy Smokes!!!!!!! Ya'll really have one going here!!!!! Hey John and friends- picked up on this board from the seacraft site- wasn't going to post because you guys seem to be localized from Mass, but our local board (Virginia) has a pretty long thread going also. Check us out:

http://www.tidalfish.com/boards2/vie...78799&id=14409

Thanx, and please send those big rockfish(striped bass) soon, the dinks under 40" are getting old.

JohnR · 11-05-2002, 11:20 AM

Hey Miles - welcome to S-B

... Yeh, I like that site. Tidalfish is a good and BIG site for down that way. I don't get much chance to read in there, but I've always liked that site.

Now I have a question for ya - Are you actually towing "Miles" with a Wrangler? Ouch

talk about the boat walking the truck on the highway

This thread was a competition of sorts between different sites that use this same message board, we have some 4700+ messages on this thread and 21K views but it was a big running joke/chat thread...

I think the winner of the competition had some 25 THOUSAND posts on a "Lord of the Rings" movie website...

But they didn't have a "Team Looney"

And most (but not all) of the big gals have already passed here on their way to ya... Hope the back gets better!

Miles Offshore · 11-06-2002, 07:18 AM

Thanx John-

That is a jeep wrangler towing my baby the first time I put her in the water. Since the inlet is only a couple of miles from the house here it did ok. (it also was the last time I used it). I thought it was a cool pic though and really shows off the size of the hull for a 23' boat!!!!

Glad you guys are sending the big gals on down. I do here of some 40" fish showing up more and more on a daily basis. Hopefully the tournament thing that the dealer is trying to put on this month will be a sucess. I would like to see it as an annual event but not necessarily here every year. We truly have superb fishing basically starting now and weather dependant, running thru february. Maybe next year after my back gets a little better you might take a trip down so you can see for yourself. Do you guys have a slot limit up there??? We had one up to a couple of years ago and they removed it last year

. Anyways enough of my jabbering- I will keep an eye on you guys up there

and if you come on any hot baits, let me know- I would be happy to do the same- MoJo's Parachutes etc- Craig

JohnR · 11-06-2002, 08:40 AM

Hey Miles - at least tell me it was a 4.0 Litre Wrangler

...

To be honest, we're not letting you have them willingly

. This fall run wasn't all that great in my mind, not bad, but it did not live up to it's potential when the weather crashed hard.

That dealer tourney could be interesting for next year but I'm on a short leash after draining the cookie jar during the fall. It would be nice to see it move around a bit too.

Up in Rhody - no slot, 2 fish over 28 inches (not that I'd keep a 28 inch fish). In Mass, 1 fish over 28 inches. With A-6 around the corner, I doubt a slot is going to happen around here like it originally looked. A lot more potential problems with a slot up here than down there I suppose.

See ya...