Joke for today?

[Van]

1. Calculate the smallest limb diameter on a persimmon tree that will support a 10 pound possum.

> 2. Which of the following cars will rust out the quickest when placed on blocks in your front yard?
> A. '66 Ford Fairlane
> B. '69 Chevrolet Chevelle
> C. '64 Pontiac GTO

> 3. If your uncle builds a still that operates at a capacity of 20 gallons of shine per hour, how many car radiators are necessary to condense the product?

> 4. A pulpwood cutter has a chain saw that operates at 2,700 rpm. The density of the pine trees in a plot to be harvested is 470 per acre. The plot is 2.3 acres in size. The average tree diameter is 14 inches. How many Budweiser Tall-Boys will it take to cut the trees?

> 5. If every old refrigerator in the state vented a charge of R-12
> simultaneously, what would be the percentage decrease in the ozone layer?

> 6. A front porch is constructed of 2x8 pine on 24-inch centers with a field rock foundation. The span is 8 feet and the porch length is 16 feet. The porch floor is 1 inch rough sawn pine. When the porch collapses, how many hound dogs will be killed?

> 7. A man owns an Arkansas house and 3.7 acres of land in a hollow with an average slope of 15 degrees. The man has 5 children. Can each of the children place a mobile home on the man's land?

> 8. A 2-ton pulpwood truck is overloaded and proceeding down a steep grade on a secondary road at 45 mph. The brakes fail. Given the average traffic loading of secondary roads, how many people will swerve to avoid the truck before it crashes at the bottom of the mountain?
For extra credit, how many of the vehicles that swerved will have
> mufflers and uncracked windshields?

> 9. A coal mine operates a NFPA Class 1, Division 2 Hazardous area. The mine employs 120 miners per shift. How many cartons of unfiltered Camel cigarettes will be smoked during the shift?

> 10. At a reduction in gene pool variability rate of 7.5% per generation, how long will it take a town that has been bypassed by the interstate to breed a country-western singer?