Pizza Horror show

[Swimmer]

If your mailbox was located in a half buried bathtub like a Madonna statue the guy would have had the cardinal come down and bless it and brought you free pizza besides.

[Backbeach Jake]

Food Service Follies! Our Canteen Truck driver thought that it was the funniest thing in the world to fart while we ate our lunches. Until I put a stink bomb in his cab. The Horse's arse had the nerve to be offended.

( Instant stink bomb recipe: Handful of brake lathe turnings + a little battery acid. Will gag a maggot on a gut wagon.)

[Slingah]

I got a good one......
about sixteen years ago, a couple of months after I had my daughter with "the mother"...she wanted a night out (we were young) and she went to a bar we hung at..I stayed home to watch the kid and she partied up...I called her and asked her to bring home a PIZZA for me.....well she did...as I took my first bite it was like.."cRuNcH, cRuNch, cRuNch...I was like "what the &*%%^$!! what happened to the PIZZA???? she said.." I don't know" ....then it was clear when I studied it and saw all the sand and rock salt on it. The wench dropped it in the parking lot...put it back in the box and gave it to me...I almost broke a tooth!!! I should of left her right then.