The Longest Thread in History

[UserRemoved1]

Interesting piece of history....



In 1872 the Arabs invented the condom, using a goat's lower intestine .



In 1873 the British somewhat refined the idea by taking the intestine out of the goat first.

[Piscator]

Originally Posted by #^&#^&#^&#^&#^&#^&#^&#^&#^&#^&#^&

Interesting piece of history....



In 1872 the Arabs invented the condom, using a goat's lower intestine .



In 1873 the British somewhat refined the idea by taking the intestine out of the goat first.

The question is........................If you had to pick, which Goat would you rather be?

[tysdad115]

I had a litlle chicken that wouldn't lay an egg so I poured hot water up and down the chickens leg. The little chicken cried and the little chicken begged, the gosh darn chicken laid a hard boiled egg!

Sing that out loud at your next holiday function and watch the looks you get. People are so strange.
I really can't get more random that guys, sorry.

[PRBuzz]

This may be the most posted thread but Giada has most views, by about 20K! Katy's thread has the most gawkers (views/posts)

[UserRemoved]

I got a sweater for Christmas. What I really wanted was a screamer or moaner...

























IT'S ALIIIIIIIIIIIVE

[PRBuzz]

An elderly man on a Moped, looking about 90 years old, pulls up next to a doctor at a street light.

The old man looks over at the sleek shiny car and asks, "What kind of car ya got there, sonny?"

The doctor replies, "A Ferrari GTO. It cost half a million dollars!"

"That's a lot of money," says the old man. "Why does it cost so much?"

"Because this car can do up to 220 miles an hour!" states the doctor proudly.

The Moped driver asks, "Mind if I take a look inside?"

"No problem," replies the doctor.

So the old man pokes his head in the window and looks around. Then, sitting back on his Moped, the old man says, "That's a pretty nice car, all right.... but I'll stick with my Moped!"

Just then the light changes, so the doctor decides to show the old man just what his car can do. He floors it, and within 30 seconds the speedometer reads 150 mph.

Suddenly, he notices a dot in his rear view mirror. It seems to be getting closer !

He slows down to see what it could be and suddenly WHOOOOSSSHHH! Something whips by him going much faster!

"What on earth could be going faster than my Ferrari?" the doctor asks himself.

He presses harder on the accelerator and takes the Ferrari up to 180 mph.

Then, up ahead of him, he sees that it's the old man on the Moped!

Amazed that the Moped could pass his Ferrari, he gives it more gas and passes the Moped at 200 mph and he's feeling pretty good until he looks in his mirror and sees the old man gaining on him AGAIN!

Astounded by the speed of this old guy, he floors the gas pedal and takes the Ferrari all the way up to 220 mph.

Not ten seconds later, he sees the Moped bearing down on him again! The Ferrari is flat out, and there's nothing he can do !

Suddenly, the Moped plows into the back of his Ferrari, demolishing the rear end.

The doctor stops and jumps out and unbelievably the old man is still alive.

He runs up to the banged-up old guy and says, "I'm a doctor.... Is there anything I can do for you ?"

The old man whispers,

"Unhook my suspenders from your side view mirror!"

[striperman36]

Now that is f funny, Phil

[Nebe]

[Hookedagain]

I saw a one legged man with no arms at the ATM this morning, he asked if I could check his balance....so I pushed him!

[UserRemoved]

Spent $50 on E-bay for a penis enlarger..............



Bastards sent me a magnifying glass.!!.

[PRBuzz]

Got to get me one of these, more plugs to ho!

Woodcutting and splitting attachment. [VIDEO]

[WESTPORTMAFIA]

Originally Posted by Saltys

Spent $50 on E-bay for a penis enlarger..............



Bastards sent me a magnifying glass.!!.

I'm using this one

[Raven]

DID you ever read about the group of trees in the Arizona mountains...

as it turned out the whole forest was but a single tree
all with the same EXACT DNA........ the largest living thing on earth

a single ENTITY ....kinda like.... how on star trek
their cruisin around in outer space and they encounter a new life form

So, i do believe in burning wood .... but tree's are to be as respected
as is a fish or a deer....is...

i draw the line at RODENTS though (Cuz they SUCK !)
SPIDERS and poisoness snakes or anything that will kill me....
where it's me or them....i'll BLAST em every-time

[PRBuzz]

China's US relationship....not sure this is funny?

[spence]

Originally Posted by PRBuzz

China's US relationship....not sure this is funny or not?

Not that funny.
Posted from my iPhone/Mobile device

[Raven]

I like the TRUMP approach

[UserRemoved1]

BUMP

[PRBuzz]

Enjoy just passing along:

1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of
me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me for the path is
narrow.. In fact, just piss off and leave me alone.

2. Sex is like air. It's not that important unless you aren't getting any.

3.. No one is listening until you fart.

4. Always remember you're unique. Just like everyone else.

5. Never test the depth of the water with both feet..

6. If you think nobody cares whether you're alive or dead, try
missing a couple of mortgage payments.

7. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their
shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you
have their shoes.

8.. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

9. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to
fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

10. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was
probably well worth it.

11. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

12. Some days you are the dog, some days you are the tree.

13. Don't worry; it only seems kinky the first time.

14. Good judgment comes from bad experience ... and most of that comes
from bad judgment.

15. A closed mouth gathers no foot.

16. There are two excellent theories for arguing with women. Neither one works.

17. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving.

18. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

19. We are born naked, wet and hungry, and get slapped on our arse
.... then things just keep getting worse.

20. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a
laxative on the same night

[PRBuzz]

A lawyer and a senior citizen are sitting next to each other on a long flight.

The lawyer is thinking that seniors are so dumb that he could get one over on them easy.

So the lawyer asks if the senior would like to play a fun game.

The senior is tired and just wants to take a nap, so he politely declines and tries to catch a few winks.

The lawyer persists saying that the game is a lot of fun. I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me only $5. Then you ask me one, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500, he says. This catches the seniors’ attention and to keep the lawyer quiet, he agrees to play the game.



The lawyer asks the first question. 'What's the distance from the Earth to the Moon?'

The senior doesn't say a word, but reaches into his pocket, pulls out a five-dollar bill, and hands it to the lawyer.

Now it's the senior's turn He asks the lawyer, 'What goes up a hill with three legs, and comes down with four?'

The lawyer uses his laptop and searches all references he could find on the Net.

He sends e-mails to all the smart friends he knows; all to no avail. After an hour of searching, he finally gives up.

He wakes the senior and hands him $500. The senior pockets the $500 and goes right back to sleep.
The lawyer is going nuts not knowing the answer. He wakes the senior up and asks, 'Well, so what goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four?'

The senior reaches into his pocket, hands the lawyer $5 and goes back to sleep.

[PRBuzz]

Warp speed: Scientist out of CERN have reported that they were able to measure a neutrino going faster than the speed of light. According to Einstein's Special Theory this should not be possible. Data still up for review&verification.

Distance traveled 454 miles (as I understand trajectory was through the earth, what an aim this gun has).

From my calculations:
Time expected: 2437296 nanoseconds (for the non sci enabled: 0.00243 sec or much shorter time than the blink of an eye)
Time recored: 2437236 nanoseconds (60 nanosecs to short a time, error only +/-10 nanoseconds).

Apparently Fermi lab in Chicago had a similar result back in 2007 but their measurement error was too great when firing neutrinos from Chicago to Minnesota.

Summary: Warp speeds >1 maybe be a reality......

[PRBuzz]

Today's Dilbert and B.C.

[spence]

Originally Posted by PRBuzz

Today's Dilbert and B.C.

Working in IT it's astounding how many companies don't even know how some of their applications work.
Posted from my iPhone/Mobile device

[UserRemoved1]

Irina says hello

[Swimmer]

Hello Irina! homina homina homina

[UserRemoved1]

Frank you can google Irina Shayk but she's taken

[PRBuzz]

OK so who lied?

[UserRemoved1]

One day a man decides to retire...



He booked himself on a Caribbean cruise and proceeded to have the time of his life, that is, until the ship sank.


He soon found himself on an island with no other people, no supplies, nothing, only bananas and coconuts.



After about four months,
he is lying on the beach one day when the most gorgeous woman he has ever seen rows up to the shore.

In disbelief, he asks, "Where did you come from? How did you get here?"

She replies, "I rowed over from the other side of the island where I landed when my cruise ship sank."

"Amazing," he notes. "You were really lucky to have a row boat wash up with you."

"Oh, this thing?" explains the woman. "I made the boat out of some raw material I found on the island. The oars were whittled from gum tree branches. I wove the bottom from palm tree branches, the sides and stern came from a Eucalyptus tree."

"But, where did you get the tools?"

"Oh, that was no problem," replied the woman. "On the south side of the island, a very unusual stratum of alluvial rock is exposed. I found that if I fired it to a certain temperature in my kiln, it melted into ductile iron and I used that to make tools and used the tools to make the hardware."

The guy is stunned!

"Let's row over to my place," she says "and I'll give you a tour." So, after a short time of rowing, she soon
docks the boat at a small wharf. As the man looks to shore, he nearly falls off the boat. Before him is a long stone walk leading to a cabin and a tree house.

While the woman ties up the rowboat with an expertly woven hemp rope, the man can only stare ahead, dumb struck. As they walk into the house, she says casually, "It's not much, but I call it home. Please sit down."

"Would you like a drink?"

"No! No thank you," the man blurts out, still dazed. "I can't take another drop of coconut juice."

"Oh it's not coconut juice," winks the woman. "I have a still. How would you like a Tropical Spritz?"



Trying to hide his continued amazement, the man accepts, and they sit down on her couch to talk. After they exchange their individual survival stories, the woman announces, "I'm going to slip into something more comfortable. Would you like to take a shower and shave? There's a razor in the bathroom cabinet upstairs."

No longer questioning anything, the man goes upstairs into the bathroom. There, in the cabinet is a razor made from a piece of tortoise bone. Two shells honed to a hollow ground edge are fastened on to its end inside a swivel mechanism.

"This woman is amazing," he muses. "What's next?"

When he returns, she greets him wearing nothing but some small flowers on tiny vines, each strategically positioned, she smelled faintly of gardenias. She then beckons for him to sit down next to her.

"Tell me," she begins suggestively, slithering closer to him, "We've both been out here for many months.
You must have been lonely. When was the last time you played around? She stares into his eyes.

He can't believe what he's hearing. "You mean..." he swallows excitedly as tears start to form in his eyes,
!
!
!
!
!
!
!
!
"You've built a Golf Course?"

[PRBuzz]

Thought you could use a touching story for the holiday season...



A couple was Christmas shopping at the mall on Christmas Eve and the

mall was packed.



Walking through the mall, the surprised wife looked up and noticed her

husband was nowhere to be found, and she was very upset because they

had a lot to do.



She used her cell phone to call her husband because she was so upset,

and asked him where he was.



In a calm voice the husband said: "Honey, remember the jewelry store we

went into 10 years ago where you fell in love with that diamond necklace

that we couldn't afford, and I told you that I would get it for you one day?"



His wife, crying now, said, "Yes, I remember that jewelry store!"



He said,"Well, I'm in the bar next to it."

[PRBuzz]

Good example of a Brain Study: If you can read this you have a strong mind:

7H15 M3554G3
53RV35 7O PR0V3
H0W 0UR M1ND5 C4N
D0 4M4Z1NG 7H1NG5!
1MPR3551V3 7H1NG5!
1N 7H3 B3G1NN1NG
17 WA5 H4RD BU7
N0W, 0N 7H15 LIN3
Y0UR M1ND 1S
R34D1NG 17
4U70M471C4LLY
W17H 0U7 3V3N
7H1NK1NG 4B0U7 17,
B3 PROUD! 0NLY
C3R741N P30PL3 C4N
R3AD 7H15.
PL3453 F0RW4RD 1F
U C4N R34D 7H15

[Slipknot]

Originally Posted by PRBuzz

Good example of a Brain Study: If you can read this you have a strong mind:

7H15 M3554G3
53RV35 7O PR0V3
H0W 0UR M1ND5 C4N
D0 4M4Z1NG 7H1NG5!
1MPR3551V3 7H1NG5!
1N 7H3 B3G1NN1NG
17 WA5 H4RD BU7
N0W, 0N 7H15 LIN3
Y0UR M1ND 1S
R34D1NG 17
4U70M471C4LLY
W17H 0U7 3V3N
7H1NK1NG 4B0U7 17,
B3 PROUD! 0NLY
C3R741N P30PL3 C4N
R3AD 7H15.
PL3453 F0RW4RD 1F
U C4N R34D 7H15

why does it mean you have a strong mind?
that is easy as pie to read, almost able to read it faster than regular