The Longest Thread in History

[chris L]

my first randoom thought is :

[chris L]

and my second random thought is :

[chris L]

my third random thought is : are you my mommy ?

[chris L]

No , are you my mommy ?

[JohnR]

Uhh

sorry....

[JohnR]

Damn, It's Good to Be a Man!

Your last name stays put.

The garage is all yours.

Wedding plans take care of themselves.

Chocolate is just another snack.

You can be president.

You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.

Car mechanics tell you the truth.

You don't give a rat's ass if someone notices your new haircut.

The world is your urinal.

You never have to drive to another gas station because this one's just too
"yucky."

Same work ... more pay.

Wrinkles add character.

Wedding Dress $5000; Tux rental $100.

People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.

The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.

New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.

Your pals can be trusted never to trap you with: "So, notice anything
different?"

One mood, ALL the damn time.

Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.

You know stuff about tanks.

A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.

You can open all your own jars.

Dry cleaners and hair stylists don't rob you blind.

You can leave the motel bed unmade.

You can kill your own food.

You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.

If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be your
friend.

Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.

If you are 34 and single, nobody notices.

Everything on your face stays its original color.

You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger's seat.

Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.

You don't have to clean your apartment if the maid is coming.

You can quietly watch a game with a buddy for hours without
thinking: "He must be mad at me."

You don't mooch off other's desserts.

You can drop by to see a friend without having to bring a little gift.

You are not expected to know the names of more than five colors.

You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.

You almost never have strap problems in public.

You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.

The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.

You don't have to shave below your neck.

Your belly usually hides your big hips.

One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons.

You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.

You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives, on December 24th,
in 45 minutes.

Damn, it's Good to be a Man

[JohnR]

OK one more and I need to get back to work

*********************

GIRL POWER!

According to the Alaska Department of Fish and Game,
while both male and female reindeer grow antlers in the
summer each year, male reindeer drop their antlers at the
beginning of winter, usually late November to mid-December.

Female reindeer retain their antlers till after they give birth in the
spring. Therefore, according to every historical rendition depicting
Santa's reindeer, every single one of them, from Rudolph to Blitzen- had to
be a girl.

We should've known. Only women would be able to drag a fat-ass man in
a red velvet suit all around the world in one night and not get lost.

[The Iceman 6]

* 1 star hangover
No pain. No real feeling of illness. Your sleep last night was a mere disco nap which is giving you a whole lot of misplaced energy. Be glad that you are able to function relatively well. However, you are still parched. You can drink 10 cokes and still feel this way. Even vegetarians are craving a
steak sandwich and a side order of gravy fries from any motorway cafe.

** 2 star hangover
No pain. Something is definitely amiss. You may look okay but you have the attention span and mental capacity of a staple gun. The coffee you chug to try and remain focused is only exacerbating your rumbling gut, which is craving a MacDonalds breakfast. Last night has wreaked havoc on your
bowels and even though you have a nice demeanor about the office, you are costing your employer valuable money because all you really can handle is surfing internet porn and writing junk e-mails.

*** 3 star hangover
Slight headache. Stomach feels crappy. You are definitely a space shot and so not productive. Anytime a girl walks by you gag because her perfume reminds you of the random gin shots you did with your alcoholic friends after the bouncer chucked you out at 1:45 a.m. Life would be better right now if
you were in your bed with a dozen donuts and a steak sub watching the Q awards.
You've had 4 cups of coffee, a gallon of water, 3 Snapples and a litre of diet coke - yet you haven't peed once.

**** 4 star hangover
Life sucks. Your head is throbbing and you can't speak too quickly or else you might puke. Your boss has already lambasted you for being late and has given you a lecture for reeking of booze. You wore nice clothes, but that
can't hide the fact that you missed an oh-so crucial spot shaving, (girls, it looks like you put your make-up on while riding the bumper cars) your teeth have sweaters, your eyes look like one big vein and your hair style makes you look like a retard. You would shoot your mother for one or all of the following
1. the clock to strike 6pm
2. the entire appetizer list from TGIFridays or
3. a time machine so you could go back and NOT have gone out the night before.

***** 5 star hangover, aka Dante's 4th Circle of Hell
You have a second heartbeat in your head which is actually annoying the employee who sits at the next desk. Vodka vapor is seeping out of every pore and making you dizzy. You still have toothpaste crust in the corners of your mouth from brushing your teeth. Your body has lost the ability to generate saliva, so your tongue is suffocating you. You'd cry but that would take
the last of the moisture left in your body. Death seems pretty good right now. Your boss doesn't even get mad at you and your co-workers think that your dog just died because you look so pathetic. You should have called in sick because, let's face it, all you can manage to do is bitch about your state - which is a
mystery to you because you definitely don't remember who you were with, where you were, what you drank and why there is a stranger still sleeping in your bed, unaccompanied, at your house. You lose your nice jacket at the bar. The only thing you can do is smoke a spliffand pass out. It's when you wake
up a few hours later with a lesser star hangoverthat you eat a large pizza, an order of Tandoori Chicken, a ham and cheese omelet and a batch of Cadbury's chocolate. And everything is OK.

"Any of the above sound familiar"?

[The Iceman 6]

Check out this link if you have trouble remembering phone numbers, pehaps your own?

http://www.phonespell.org/

ICE

[TheBetterHalf]

Let's get this thread at least above 100 -

99 and counting!!!

[TheBetterHalf]

Here's a question:

Valentine's Day - is a a real holiday or a commercial creation to get consumer's to buy really expensive flowers?

What's the best Valentine's Day present you gave/got?

[JohnR]

How the heck can I answer that question properly ??

[chris L]

run away from it John ! RUN NOW !!!!

[JohnR]

Here are some Rally Pics from Tuesday:

[The Iceman 6]

To the Better Half:

Was reading some sort of survey in the NY Post (aka Nat'l Enquirer) and they said the best gift a man would want for V-Day above all else is a six pack of beer. Maybe throw in a plug?

Iceman

[The Iceman 6]

Testing 1-2-3, Ice is conducting a test to get his Avatar back - I miss the Viking

[The Iceman 6]

I have way too much time on my hands this morning, hope I got my avatar back??

[The Iceman 6]

I'm back - had to send a friend to sea, what a display of light!!

[Saltheart]

Is the longest thread anything like the longest string? A string infinitely long could be rolled up into a ball of infinite size. Since thread is thinner than string , how large a ball would an infinitely long thread form when rolled up into a ball?

[JohnR]

Uhh, what's wrong with your avatar? I see it just fine...

[JohnR]

Is "The Longest String" a suitable replacement for "The Longest Yard"? Probably not, but "The Longest Day" was an incredible movie - whaddya think??

[The Iceman 6]

Was is as good as the movie Dog Day Afternoon or U2's song Beautiful Day or the saying every dog has it's day or the acress Doris Day, speaking of Day's - it is Friday yet???

[Saltheart]

Some days you're the dog and some days you're the hydrant!

[JohnR]

Don't eat yellow snow...

[Mike P]

Hard Times

A bum, who obviously has seen more than his share of hard times, approaches a well dressed gentleman on the street. "Hey, Buddy, can you spare two dollars?"

The well-dressed gentleman responds, "You are not going to spend it on hunting are you?"

"No, sir, I don't hunt," retorts the bum.

"You are not going to throw it away on fishing trips, are you?" asks the gentleman.

"No way, I don't fish," answers the bum.

"You wouldn't waste the money buying a big pick-up, would you?" asks the man.

"Never," says the bum, "I don't want an truck."

The man asks the bum if he would like to come home with him for a home cooked meal. The bum accepts eagerly. While they are heading for the man's house, the bum's curiosity gets the better of him. "Isn't your wife going to be angry when she sees a guy like me at your table?"

"Probably," says the man, "but it will be worth it. I want her to see what happens to a guy who doesn't hunt, fish or drive a truck."

[GBOUTDOORS]

Tattoo is that you???? no thats a tattoo wanabe!

[GBOUTDOORS]

Ok what is it????

[Fishpart]

Glad to see that we're moving along so well. Any ideas on how our competition is doing?????

[JohnR]

Well - we're getting spanked a little by this gaming site (well, I think that's what it is: http://forums.interealms.com/ranger/index.php

Right now - they have 1300+ replies in about 23 hours - but we got a chance


But they have:
Registered Members: 7,274
20,440 threads in total
215,758 posts in total

compared to our:
Members: 441,
Threads: 2,591,
Posts: 20,023

HEY - BUT WE DID BREAK 20,000 Posts - Great Work guys & gals... And we didn't need Patrick to do it

[Fishpart]

Well, lets keep it going.