"Warm Milk"

[dondkim]

"WARM MILK"

The 98-year-old Mother Superior from Ireland was dying.

The nuns gathered around her bed trying to make her last journey comfortable

They gave her some warm milk to drink but she refused. Then one of the nuns took the glass back to the kitchen.

Remembering a bottle of Irish whiskey received as a gift the previous Christmas, she opened and poured a generous amount into the warm milk.

Back at Mother Superior's bed, she held the glass to her lips. Mother drank a little, then a little more and before they knew it, she had drunk the whole glass down to the last drop.

"Mother," the nuns asked with earnest, "please give us some wisdom before you die."

She raised herself up in bed and with a pious look on her face said, "Don't sell that cow."

[chris L]

I need a fix 'cause I'm going down,
Back to the bits that I left uptown,
I need a fix cause I'm going down.
Mother Superior jump...

I need a fix 'cause I'm going down,
Back to te bits that I left uptown,
I need a fix cause I'm going down.
Mother Superior jump the gun,
Mother Superior jump the gun...

I need a fix 'cause I'm going down,
Back to te bits that I left uptown,
I need a fix cause I'm going down.
Mother Superior jump the gun,
Mother Superior jump the gun.
Mother Superior jump the gun,
Mother Superior jump the gun.

Mother Superior jump the gun,
Mother Superior jump the gun.
Mother Superior jump the gun,
Mother Superior jump the gun.
Mother Superior jump the gun...

[fishweewee]

There was this Spanish guy, this Korean guy and this Russian guy all working for the same construction company.
At the beginning of the day the boss comes out and says to the Spanish guy, "You're in charge of the cement."
Then he said to the Russian guy, "You're in charge of the dirt."
Then he said to the Korean guy, "You're in charge of the supplies."
Then he said, "I'm gonna be back at the end of the day to check on your work. It better be good or you're fired." So they all go off to go get their work done.
At the end of the day, the boss comes back to check on their work. He looks at the big pile of cement and goes, "Good work," to the Spanish guy.
Then he looks at the big pile of dirt and says, "Good work," to the Russian guy.
Then he couldn't find the Korean guy so he asks, "Where the heck is the Korean guy?"
All of a sudden, the Korean guy jumps out from behind the big pile of dirt and yells, " SUPPLIES!"

[chris L]

you funny Joe ! you funny .

[Pt.JudeJoe]

It's closing time at the Dublin Pub and the bartender says to Pat ,who's been there all night , "It's time to go home lad." Pat tries to stagger to his feet and falls flat on his face. " I know,... a bit o' fresh air will sober me up." So he crawls to the door and tries to stand up and falls flat on his face. Now he crawls the 2 blocks to his house ,gets to the steps and tries to get up....and falls flat on his face. So he crawls upstairs and falls onto his bed and passes out. In the morning he wakes to his wife yelling at him..."Patrick O'Toole you were out drinking again last night!!" "Why do you say that, love?" he sheepishly replies.
"BECAUSE YOU LEFT YOUR WHEELCHAIR AT THE PUB AGAIN!!!!!"

[bloocrab]

...I missed these...thanks guys, I needed a laugh