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| The Scuppers This is a new forum for the not necessarily fishing related topics... |
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11-12-2013, 09:25 AM
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#1
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Registered User
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Gloucester Massachusetts
Posts: 2,678
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Men R Deep Thinkers
I mowed the lawn today, and after doing so I sat down and had a cold beer.
The day was really quite beautiful, and the drink facilitated some deep thinking.
My wife walked by and asked me what I was doing and I said 'nothing'.
The reason I said that instead of saying 'just thinking' is because she would have said 'about what'.
At that point I would have to explain that men are deep thinkers about various topics which would lead to other questions.
Finally I thought about an age old question: Is giving birth more painful than getting kicked in the nuts?
Women always maintain that giving birth is way more painful than a guy getting kicked in the nuts.
Well, after another beer, and some heavy deductive thinking, I have come up with the answer to that question.
Getting kicked in the nuts is more painful than having a baby; and here is the reason for my conclusion.
A year or so after giving birth, a woman will often say, "It might be nice to have another child."
On the other hand, you never hear a guy say, "You know, I think It would nice to have another kick in the nuts."
I rest my case.
Time for another beer.
PS: What deep thinkers men are.
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11-12-2013, 06:18 PM
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#2
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........
Join Date: Apr 2002
Posts: 22,805
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2 thumbs up
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11-12-2013, 10:12 PM
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#3
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Registered User
Join Date: Jul 2008
Posts: 2,939
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My four year old put me to my knees the other day at the hardware store infront of our babysitters husband and 3 employees including the cute cashier. She was behind the counter and saw me suddenly disappear. I was literally on the floor holding my nuts as I couldn't talk or breathe. 3 employees and our babysitters husband all laughing their butts off. My son didn't mean to back hand me in both of my nuts wicked effing hard. He panicked, stood still like he thought I was dying. Looked like he was about to cry. I picked myself up off the floor after 30 seconds or so made it outside and went back to my knees for a minute or so. That sucked. Funny post btw!
Posted from my iPhone/Mobile device
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11-13-2013, 04:02 AM
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#4
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Land OF Forgotten Toys
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Central MA
Posts: 2,309
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Can you call the hardware store and get the security tape on that one.
Posted from my iPhone/Mobile device
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11-13-2013, 06:20 AM
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#5
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........
Join Date: Apr 2002
Posts: 22,805
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pee'd any gravel lately
that's always a wake up experience!
`
it means your forming kidney stones
and eventually their gonna merge and
block the pipe altogether...and from personal experience
it's much worse than getting kicked in the nuts
or the pain of having a baby.
So, too much chocolate
and insufficient intake of water combined with lots
of meat eating which provides the uric acid to form the stone
is the recipe.
Drinking orange juice or grapefruit juice
prevents these from forming
so keep that in mind and don't
learn the hard way.... trust me...
you don't want to experience it.
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11-13-2013, 07:49 AM
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#6
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Registered User
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: Libtardia
Posts: 21,719
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As my loving Ex used to say to me... " you try pushing a potroast through your nostril".
Considering women can die from child birth, I'm gonna say that there is no comparison between a blow to the balls.. None. I have the deepest respect for the child birth experience.
Posted from my iPhone/Mobile device
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11-13-2013, 10:25 AM
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#7
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Registered User
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Gloucester Massachusetts
Posts: 2,678
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If women only knew that squeezing a man's testicles could kill him...there could be more accidental deaths in the bedroom....  |
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11-13-2013, 10:49 AM
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#8
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Super Moderator
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: Georgetown MA
Posts: 18,225
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If men had babies....you would be able to remove the words "Sibling" "Brother" and "Sister" from the english language......
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"If you're arguing with an idiot, make sure he isn't doing the same thing."
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11-13-2013, 12:29 PM
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#9
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........
Join Date: Apr 2002
Posts: 22,805
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Nebe
As my loving Ex used to say to me... " you try pushing a potroast through your nostril".
Posted from my iPhone/Mobile device
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If a Nose was that elastic you could shoot boogers a country mile. |
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11-13-2013, 01:36 PM
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#10
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Registered User
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Ashland, Mass.
Posts: 596
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Speaking of Testicles
A man is lying in a Hospital bed wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth."Nurse" he mumbles, "Are my testicles black?"
The nurse raises his gown, holds his unit in one hand, and his balls in the other. She takes a close look and says"There's nothing wrong with them sir."
The man pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her, and says very slowly: "Thanks for that. It was lovely, but listen to me very, very, carefully... Are-my-test-results-back?!"
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11-13-2013, 05:32 PM
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#11
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BuzzLuck
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Brockton
Posts: 6,414
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Quote:
Originally Posted by massbassman
A man is lying in a Hospital bed wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth."Nurse" he mumbles, "Are my testicles black?"
The nurse raises his gown, holds his unit in one hand, and his balls in the other. She takes a close look and says"There's nothing wrong with them sir."
The man pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her, and says very slowly: "Thanks for that. It was lovely, but listen to me very, very, carefully... Are-my-test-results-back?!"
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That nurse is blonde and 38DD !  |
 Given the diversity of the human species, there is no “normal” human genome sequence. We are all mutants.
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11-13-2013, 07:21 PM
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#12
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Registered User
Join Date: Jul 2008
Posts: 2,939
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Quote:
Originally Posted by massbassman
A man is lying in a Hospital bed wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth."Nurse" he mumbles, "Are my testicles black?"
The nurse raises his gown, holds his unit in one hand, and his balls in the other. She takes a close look and says"There's nothing wrong with them sir."
The man pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her, and says very slowly: "Thanks for that. It was lovely, but listen to me very, very, carefully... Are-my-test-results-back?!"
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Nice!
Posted from my iPhone/Mobile device |
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