Quote:
Originally Posted by wdmso
unless she was consumed by a racial grievance
You act as if they got in a fight, and she wrote my wife up to HR
Not at all. I never mentioned a fight nor HR. I responded to your " tore, her new one" which The Free Dictionary defines as "To criticize, berate, or upbraid one in an extremely belligerent and angry manner." I don't think that behavior was called for. As I said, she could have politely told your wife that the term she used was offensive to her and would prefer that she used "Black" instead. Her unjustifiably rude behavior indicates, at least to me, she had a grievance about what word your wife spoke, and since it was about a racial term, that the grievance was racial. Simply using an "incorrect" word is not a cause for belligerent anger.
It’s not my or my wife’s place to criticize her response we’re not Black and no nothing of her past
As a third party reading what you describe as criticizing your wife in a belligerent and angry manner, it's not out of the realm of my opinion to criticize the Black Nurse's belligerent criticism of your wife.
If she called my wife a cracker and my wife tore her a new one I don’t think it would be because she was consumed by a racial grievance
Perhaps your wife could have politely asked why she called her a cracker. Or she could be unnecessarily nasty and just tear her a new one . . . because . . . I don't know . . . if "cracker" is merely another word for "white" I can't conceive of any reason for your wife to be belligerent unless she had some kind of anger issue that rises to the surface when being called a cracker.
But their are many who are absolutely driven by and consumed by a racial grievance. Just not this story
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If it rises to belligerent anger when being referred to as anything other than "Black" (even though some pigment of "Brown" would be more accurate), to me, something more than diction is going on and it certainly seems to be about race.
If I'm not mistaken, being "Black" is a pride thing. A racial pride. being referred to as vaguely "colored" can be perceived as an attack on racial purity, or as akin to being considered some mongrelized person of no distinct, proud, heritage or lineage. Being referred to as "brown" lumps one into the vast array of brown toned people--like the "People of color" moniker that is used as a somewhat useful and somewhat prideful collective distinction from the also vast array of "white" people.
The "Pride" distinctions are not very useful. On the contrary, they're needlessly divisive. On the other hand, if for various actual practical reasons someone's skin tone needs to be described--OK . . . but pride in skin tone--not so good.
I think your wife's intent in saying "colored" was, on the margins of describing someone in discussion, a practical, though perhaps clumsy, use of diction. It certainly didn't call for her being torn a new one.