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My late Grandmother (God rest her soul) had a few beauties.
1-Throw the baby down the stairs a hat
2-Did you see that carlaid or loadies? (carload of ladies)
3-I asked her one day: Gram, where are the cookies? She replied in the upper left, right hand corner.
Dad: I helped put you on this Earth and I can damn sure help take you off.
Six of one, half a dozen of the other
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