“They Won’t Magically Turn You Into A Lustful Cockmonster”
 

Regardless of your stance, I think the letter is pretty funny, with some good lines in it...

"They Won't Magically Turn You Into A Lustful Cockmonster": Chris Kluwe Explains Gay Marriage To The Politician Who Is Offended By An NFL Player Supporting It

Baltimore Ravens linebacker Brendon Ayanbadejo has spoken out in favor of a Maryland ballot initiative that would legalize gay marriage. Yahoo has published a letter that Maryland state delegate Emmett C. Burns Jr. wrote last week to Ravens owner Steve Bisciotti, urging him to "inhibit such expressions from your employee." This is Minnesota Vikings punter Chris Kluwe's response to Burns.

Dear Emmett C. Burns Jr.,

I find it inconceivable that you are an elected official of Maryland's state government. Your vitriolic hatred and bigotry make me ashamed and disgusted to think that you are in any way responsible for shaping policy at any level. The views you espouse neglect to consider several fundamental key points, which I will outline in great detail (you may want to hire an intern to help you with the longer words):

1. As I suspect you have not read the Constitution, I would like to remind you that the very first, the VERY FIRST Amendment in this founding document deals with the freedom of speech, particularly the abridgment of said freedom. By using your position as an elected official (when referring to your constituents so as to implicitly threaten the Ravens organization) to state that the Ravens should "inhibit such expressions from your employees," more specifically Brendon Ayanbadejo, not only are you clearly violating the First Amendment, you also come across as a narcissistic fromunda stain. What on earth would possess you to be so mind-boggingly stupid? It baffles me that a man such as yourself, a man who relies on that same First Amendment to pursue your own religious studies without fear of persecution from the state, could somehow justify stifling another person's right to speech. To call that hypocritical would be to do a disservice to the word. Mind#^&#^&#^&#^&ing obscenely hypocritical starts to approach it a little bit.

2. "Many of your fans are opposed to such a view and feel it has no place in a sport that is strictly for pride, entertainment, and excitement." Holy #^&#^&#^&#^&ing #^&#^&#^&#^&balls. Did you seriously just say that, as someone who's "deeply involved in government task forces on the legacy of slavery in Maryland"? Have you not heard of Kenny Washington? Jackie Robinson? As recently as 1962 the NFL still had segregation, which was only done away with by brave athletes and coaches daring to speak their mind and do the right thing, and you're going to say that political views have "no place in a sport"? I can't even begin to fathom the cognitive dissonance that must be coursing through your rapidly addled mind right now; the mental gymnastics your brain has to tortuously contort itself through to make such a preposterous statement are surely worthy of an Olympic gold medal (the Russian judge gives you a 10 for "beautiful oppressionism").

3. This is more a personal quibble of mine, but why do you hate freedom? Why do you hate the fact that other people want a chance to live their lives and be happy, even though they may believe in something different than you, or act different than you? How does gay marriage, in any way shape or form, affect your life? If gay marriage becomes legal, are you worried that all of a sudden you'll start thinking about penis? "Oh #^&#^&#^&#^&. Gay marriage just passed. Gotta get me some of that hot dong action!" Will all of your friends suddenly turn gay and refuse to come to your Sunday Ticket grill-outs? (Unlikely, since gay people enjoy watching football too.)

I can assure you that gay people getting married will have zero effect on your life. They won't come into your house and steal your children. They won't magically turn you into a lustful cockmonster. They won't even overthrow the government in an orgy of hedonistic debauchery because all of a sudden they have the same legal rights as the other 90 percent of our population—rights like Social Security benefits, child care tax credits, Family and Medical Leave to take care of loved ones, and COBRA healthcare for spouses and children. You know what having these rights will make gays? Full-fledged American citizens just like everyone else, with the freedom to pursue happiness and all that entails. Do the civil-rights struggles of the past 200 years mean absolutely nothing to you?

In closing, I would like to say that I hope this letter, in some small way, causes you to reflect upon the magnitude of the colossal foot in mouth cluster#^&#^&#^&#^& you so brazenly unleashed on a man whose only crime was speaking out for something he believed in. Best of luck in the next election; I'm fairly certain you might need it.

Sincerely,
Chris Kluwe

P.S. I've also been vocal as hell about the issue of gay marriage so you can take your "I know of no other NFL player who has done what Mr. Ayanbadejo is doing" and shove it in your close-minded, totally lacking in empathy piehole and choke on it. #^&#^&#^&#^&#^&#^&#^&.

just for the record on both the marriage and free speech issue.....

Emmett C. Burns Jr. (D-Baltimore County).

I sense a little roid rage in that response

He's a punter!



And, yes, there are 'D's' who oppose gay marriage, just like there are 'R's' who support it!

Hysterical and on point.
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a revelation :claps:

probably just an unintentional journalistic oversight :)

had to do some digging but also...

"As an African-American and Democrat, Burns may be especially appalled......"

probably just another unintentional journalistic oversight...funny how these things work

from another Yahoo article

"The good news is that, when it comes to today's NFL, Burns is as wrong and out of touch as he is everywhere else. But as long as there are people like the good Rev. Burns, who preach hate and encourage the prohibition of ideas that are not his own, people will feel undue shame about things that are as much a part of their being as their race, color, or creed."

I wonder if the author felt the same way about Jeremiah Wright, Father Pfleger, Loius Farrakhan and on...

does this make Chris Kluwe a racist and bigot hate monger for attacking African American Rev. Emmett C. Burns Jr. (D-Baltimore County) ?

ahhhh...the tangled web we weave:)

you got the first part right


if you simply want applause and affirmation from knuckleheads and a spot on the Ed Schultz Show, you write a letter like that, I doubt his rhetoric will change many minds and makes him sound more unhinged than the guy that he's attacking for being unhinged...:)

In other words, you've got a little tingle running up your leg don't you?
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Debating whether it pushes the limits for here (not on merits, just implementation of merits :rotf2: ) but it is funny, on point, and did I mention funny.

potty talk will always garner some chuckles....but if Kluwe is a thoughtful advocate, he could have used the opportunity that Burns provided in a far more productive manner in this, " the age of civility:)"

I read this a while back, thought it was fascinating...

American Thinker- Print Article

I wonder where Emmett C. Burns Jr. (D-Baltimore County) ever came up with the idea to send a letter on official stationary to the owner/CEO of a private company demanding that the private company silence or punish one of it's employees for something that they said ...


hey, at least Emmett C. Burns Jr. (D-Baltimore County) didn't try to distort Brendon Ayanbadejo's remarks :)

btw..before Spence makes another silly comment, I'm not defending Burns, the thread is about Kluwe's letter ...I agree with Kluwe that Burns should not have sent the letter attempting to use his capacity as an elected official to intimidate a private comapny reagarding policy's for it's employees.....Burns should be accountable for his actions...but he didn't violate anyone's First Ammendment Rights, Brendon Ayanbadejo was not and has not been prevented from speaking as far as I know and I think the Ravens responded accordingly....I hope that Kluwe has read and supports all of the Constitution and not simply a handful of words that feels support his points...the First Amendment is pretty clear "CONGRESS SHALL MAKE NO LAW RESPECTING AN ESTABLISHMENT OF RELIGION, OR PROHIBITING THE FREE EXERCISE THEREOF; OR ABRIDGING THE FREEDOM OF SPEECH"...
I don't think any laws were made abridging Ayanbadejo's speech....and then it degrades from there

Emmett C. Burns Jr. (D-Baltimore County) has the freedom to do something foolish and then suffer the consequences, Minnesota Vikings punter Chris Kluwe's has the freedom to write something foolish, and ....well...where do you go from there?

that was great