Jack Bass Has it. It's like a bank account. Too many withdrawals with no deposits and it goes bust.

In my first marriage I know I could have been a better husband and father had I not been so obsessed with fishing. It wasn't the sole reason for the divorce but it did play a big part. I've come to understand that life is about relationships and balance. Without realizing it many fisherman are trying to fill that void thinking that the next catch will bring lasting contentment,, meanwhile his family who enables him and even cheers him on at times are feeling the real void of not having a husband and father around, when he is around he's on short sleep and thinking how to manage his income so that it fits to his needs.

I do not want to be know as the guy who puts his so called passion of fishing at the top of the list second to his wife and kids and family. Hate to say it but been there done that. Thats sad pretend life. If you decide that fish are your God then you will as such.

Its Saturday morning, cloudy and fishy as hell, my wife who luvs fishing is gone for the day and Im in no rush to stick lip,, fishing now is just a vehicle to build relationships.

Luv what you said Rockport

:love: You got it!

From a womans point of view (yes we are far more emotional as a whole) I married my husband becauseI love him and we enjoyed many of the same types of things and we get to do them TOGETHER. We enjoy each others company and actually want to share life's experiences together. Sure there are limits to this for example I can spend an hour propped up against a tree waiting for a turkey but 4 hours? Hell no, thats his thing. Does he like fishing? yes but not like I do and thats ok. We have learned to compromise a little better over the years too. I used to get irritated if I wanted to go fishing and he didnt. Then I just decided to ask him if he wanted to go and if he didnt I would say "do you mind if I go?" he would always say "not at all" and I would thank him and off I went. I think we get along so well because we share a mutual respect for each other. Whenever we do something without each other we always ask "honey do you mind"? most times the answer is "sure" and sometimes the answer is "well I prefer you didnt" but never is the answer "no you cant".

There are a lot of factors that I think play a role in it. Maybe you never picked the right person in the first place, maybe you did but you were a jackass, maybe your spouse was being a jackass but one thing I am pretty sure of is if your both not in it "together" and dont feel like your a team that needs to support each other (goes both ways ya know) than you might as well forgot it. I often wonder why a man will ask a woman to marry him and then bitch about how he has to get away from his ol' lady. If thats TRULY how you feel than hire a friggin maid and be a batchelor the rest of your life!

Bottom line is and everyone here should agree with me on this, that you become a better fisherman or woman by putting the time in right? Well, relationships are no different!

....aaaaaannnnd with that being said he just came in with a rediculous pairing of shirt and pants. We are going to a party not a 10 day mountaineering expedition! Sheesh! He mumbles, I mumble tell him to wear whatever he wants dammit!

He just changed :) :love: Order restored!


True story.:biglaugh:

You gotta know my wife. She's put up with me for almost 46 year and she still doesn't like my "casual attire".:rotf2:

I have been married 22 years my wife has been great about fishing. She is not a huge fan of all the fishing related purchases fishing related purchases, when you already have a basement full of fishing stuff. I usually go early. Alot of times when I get back the kids are still sleeping. Teenagers can sleep in pretty late. She also does not mind other hobbies I do golf, biking, skiing. My son and have have done quite a few hikes in the White Mountains and Maine. I like doing different things, so it is not fishing all of the time.

I am knowingly and admittedly NOT a fashionista myself so when I recongize a bad match I know it has to be really bad by most people's standards :)

I have to say I felt really bad for saying something ti him about it after my whole "reflection" on respecting and compromising. As they say timing is everything right?

Jenn , speaks :love:

thau shalt not listen ........Oh already did that :devil2:

no comment of this tread .................55 years of consuling because of it :smash:

Boy thats sounds familiar. Too funny
Posted from my iPhone/Mobile device

Lots of words of wisdom here. Thank you everyone.

GG

Don't leave now honey;all the plants will die...

I'll bite and jump in the circle of fishermen's therapy group.

Fishing has been a passion of mine since I've been able to walk,
with that being said...

I've been married for eighteen years and have two kids,my wife and I both work and try to manage life's relentless curve balls.
It has been a constant struggle of balance,time management, funds, catering to the kids with sports,music and what ever eles they can come up with, but most importantly quality time with my wife.

I'm not clear voyant but I get it!

Being a father,husband,friend, partner in crime, either way I committed myself to this and will not retreat,retreat hell!

It's to easy to do the wrong thing and give up, life is to fragile.

Relationships are similar to fishing,I look at it as being able to read the water, and same applies to relationships...

I consider my self lucky to be alive and fortunate enough making it this far in life with what I have and what I've been able to accomplish on and off the water.
The fish will always be there,so I go when the timing is right.

Tight lines!
Posted from my iPhone/Mobile device

Just broke up with my girlfriend of about a year and a half. I could get into a bunch of reasons why this happened, but just about everything people have said here couldnt be said any better. A lot of the things about balance, and not having your relationship be your hobbie rang very true with me. But in so many words, nikos post wins

:rotf2: Post of the year candidate

I think it helps to have some kind of agreed upon schedule at the outset of the relationship. We agreed to one full day a month, plus
a few short local trips on weekends a few years ago, and that seemed to work. (When I was single, I was out most weekends, often both days).

Also helps to sneak in trips in good locations when you're out of town. Or, if all else fails, you can just fake it. Took a day off a few years ago where I dressed for work, drove to Rhode Island, changed to fishing clothes, fished the whole day, came back, changed back into my dress shirt and pants, and walked into the door like nothing
had happened (some sunblock was useful too!).:wave: Hey, whatever works!

You better hope she doesn't read this.:love:

I am on my second marriage my first one failed for many reasons my self centered hobbie didn't help but she was understanding of it and even relocated so I wouldn't have to drive far to fish. I do fish less in this relationship now then before but that bc iam older and my body can't hang with my old ways. Every girl is different and you'll have to find a way to keep them happy as well. My new wife lets me fish as much as I want as long as I pay my "fishing taxes" as we call it now. If a good set of tides are coming up she can usually tell. Lol
Posted from my iPhone/Mobile device

I've been fishing less and less. She doesn't seem to like me any more than she did when I was gone all the time. :tooth:

My second wife likes when I fish but doesn't understand when I show up without dinner. To her the act of fishing is very closely linked to food. Pure sport fishing she can't quite wrap her head around. Her parents are from the Azores. I think eating fish is simply encoded in the DNA of island people.

So now I spearfish--it's fun and a very good way to harvest protein from the ocean.

Hello everyone. It's been a few years since I've posted.

John

Great article in this months OTW on swordfish. That was you, right John?

Thanks Paul. Yes it was. I'm glad you liked it.

Now that is a Classic line right there !

hey John , they must not swim very far after you release them spearfishing ><><:fishin:

Yes true Mike they don't like it.

Any steamers left up your way or did the divers wipe 'em all out? Damn divers.

wiped them ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLllll out :smash:

I get it and know how hard it is. Almost 2 years ago at this point I came home to an empty house and it really really sucked... Def one of the low points in my life after a 7 year relationship. Hunting and fishing are what did it with out a doubt. It was fine when I was doing it but her brother and father got involved and then her Mom started complaining which rubbed off on her.

My advice is: Find the right girl! I did the whole online dating thing (yes it was weird) but it paid off in spades. Met someone basically from my home town and she fishes with me one day a weekend for the most part and has been to the duck blind a few times as well. When you find the right one it won't be a problem.

Good luck and keep your head up!

I fish, I race sailboats, I spend time offshore, she knew from the start that was the deal. And is fine with it.

Yup.

She's a keepah
Posted from my iPhone/Mobile device

And drives the boat, and fishes and occasionally races.

My friends are trying to set me up with some of their lonely friends.

I tell them.

1 Non smoking
2. Not a drunk
3. Not addicted to xanax or adderall
4. No kids
5. Not in therapy

They tell me she doesn't exist, good luck.
I'm gonna have to lower my standards.
Posted from my iPhone/Mobile device

Or just go with no standards, just wrap it up you're good to go

That was an awesome article.

As to the OP, it's about a combination of tolerance, balance, and moderation. When I was single, with little responsibility, I fished a lot between May and November. Met my now-wife, I fished a bit less as I wanted the relationship to succeed, and that involved some sacrifice on my part, as well as some sacrifice on her part (I still fished a lot, but sometimes I skipped fishing for romantic dinners, etc).

Then we had 3 little kids over a short span. I'm not sure how any man with little kids spends a huge amount of time (when not working or sleeping) away from his kids for what, while menaingful, is just a recreational pursuit. Kids, especially little kids, need an awful lot of dad's time, and that's infinitely more important than any hobby.

Today, I fish about one fifth as much as I regularly did, probably 10% of what I did in my peak years. I do miss fishing as much as I did, but I wouldn't trade my marriage or my kids' happiness for all the world records known to the IGFA. I also know that I'll fish more at future stages of my life.

Good luck to any struggling with this balance...

Stop actively looking for the "right one" , just do what you like to do and your paths will cross.

The perfect women...hard to describe, she needs to look like kate upton and her dad needs to own a viking sportfishing testing facility and a string of liquor stores

Met mine while surfcasting the Cliff Walk - would have never thought I'd meet the girl of my life while fishing - but it happened.

Now that's encouraging. I need to fish Newport more.

GG

I'm right there with you, Jim. I have 3 - 8 y/o, 5 y/o and 2 y/o. They are the BEST. While I would love to fish more, it's not worth missing my kids grow up and getting divorced.

Grandpa Greg - you have to make the decision as to whether fishing or family is more important to you. Nobody else can do that for you. If fishing is more important than anything else, well, you'll have to find a lady that loves fishing or it will be ground hog day for you. Good luck.

wife: I had to cancel plans with the girls and we're going out tonight.
Me: cool I'm going fishing. I'll be back tomorrow at some point.

I dated a girl once that did the whole its me or the fish thing.. I packed my fishing gear instantly and came back a week later when I needed clean clothes.

After 26 year of marriage, I can tell you that a woman needs to know who she is involved with. You can love her and love to fish. Tell her that a lot. Show her that a lot. I became a better fisherman because my wife expects fresh fish when I return from a trip. So, to keep the peace, I simply bring home fish like it's a mission. The one benefit to me has been to observe nature better, almost read it, to find fish.

As to losing you gal, as was already said, knowing when NOT to fish is key.