Good Gawd, it is not all that hard. Just ask it "what's for dinner?" and if it tries to strangle you it's a female.

Don't know about everywhere but on the may new moon in PJ pond all the pairs looked like that. Might just be a RI thing though:laugha:

put a few holes in a couple of cans of cat food!!!!

males have boxing glove like front claws to hold onto the female while mating. Males are much smaller than females.